The divorce strategy that earns Laura Dern an Oscar could destroy your family
The battle of the lawyers is a harmful and outdated way to get divorced.
(Calgary, AB. Feb. 11, 2020) - This weekend, Laura Dern won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for her role as Scarlett Johansen’s divorce attorney in Marriage Story. The film follows a familiar plot; an escalating legal battle between an estranged couple, driven by lawyers. Laura Dern and her onscreen counterpart Ray Liotta expertly fuel the fires of conflict, unnecessarily harming the family caught in the middle.
“If the couple had been made aware of the option of Collaborative Divorce, the movie probably would not have been nominated for an Oscar, but all three family members would have been better off.” says Dr. Tina Sinclair, a Consulting Psychologist, Mediator and Collaborative Professional in Calgary. “The amicable and affordable settling of differences may not make an Oscar nominated movie, but for the 38% of Canadian families going through divorce each year, it can be a relief to know there is another, more peaceful way to handle the transition.”
In Collaborative Practice, lawyers are still utilized however, they are committed to assist the family get to the best future for all. To get to a place of agreement in Marriage Story, a collaborative team would have provided support and guidance as guardrails on either side of the road to resolution. Generally consisting of financial, legal and psychological experts, each member of the Collaborative Team is highly trained in conflict resolution and collaborative practice, as well as their area of expertise. In this way the family receives support in all the aspects affected by divorce.
In Marriage Story, there are several gut wrenching moments where the couple’s son is obviously struggling with the changing dynamic. Professional support in the form of a child specialist can be invaluable to provide emotional support and tools, for both the parents and children.
Financially speaking, both parties need to extricate themselves from a shared financial situation and begin to co-create a plan that works to support the family in a new household structure. In divorce and separation, often expenses are doubled with the transition into two households, which can be challenging to navigate. The advice and support of a financial professional can save untold hours that might otherwise end in conflict.
Team Collaborative Practice brings in the necessary professionals to assist the couple be ready for negotiations, and to facilitate and expedite peaceful divorce. While perhaps not as dramatic and entertaining as watching Scarlett Johansen’s eyes well with tears, or Laura Dern fill with righteous indignation, Collaborative Practice is a welcome respite from the courtroom battle that is the unfortunate focal point of Marriage Story.
Dr. Tina Sinclair is the founder of Peacemakers for Families, a no court, interdisciplinary team problem solving organization for families in transition. Dr. Tina specializes in helping families in Alberta transition peacefully through a Collaborative Divorce.
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or call her directly at 1 (403) 863-6593